I am not home

Some days I let the world and it's darkness settle on me. These days drag on and turn into months and then suddenly, out of nowhere I recall that I am God's, I am not this world's and anything that says differently needs to go.  No matter who I am or who you are-you are worshipping something. Here's a list of things I've worshipped as I  unknowingly tried to fill the God void (you have a God void whether you believe it or not): Chris,  marriage, college courses, teaching, parenting, healthy lifestyle choices, church, homeschool , friendship, spiritual help books, Facebook, housekeeping, political understandings, materialism. See all of these things I felt were so important. I placed my value in them and thought "As long as these are in order then I'm doing alright." As long as I'm fulfilling obligations, then I'm doing alright." "As long as I am busy, then I'm doing alright." "As long as I'm doing what the book said, I'm alright." "As long as I'm sharing my faith, then I'm alright."  But the whole time I was not alright, I was waiting for "something" to fulfill me. Today, I am completely okay with knowing that I am falsely attempting to create my own peace and there is no doubt that this process will continue. I will continue to search to fill a void that can only be partially contained and that is because I am not at home in the world. I cannot fill such a void that can only come in the presence of God. I will simply rest in knowing that when emptiness comes or false security in "things" (even good things, like my kids) tries to  fill up the God void, I can bring to the forefront of my mind that all of this is temporary and I don't belong to this place and that is a really good thing.