Parenting Ponderings: May 29, 2013

So recently , I've been studying up on you know "parenting" and all the different spectrums ranging from Old-Testament scripture-which was literally trying to protect the child from death, remember-they stoned kids for disobedience back then! I've looked at the New Testament and all of its emphasis on LOVE and compassion for others before self, whoa-if you can  get little developing kiddo's to grasp that "its not about me" you have conquered a major feat! I've looked at peaceful parenting where you give suggestions-not rules, you share what consequences could happen- rather than punish, your children do not need to "obey," ---they own themselves. I really do like the "own yourselves" ideas, but I've got to work some issues out in my head about it!!! Heck, I've even checked into the term "un-parenting" where the child is completely in charge of all aspects of their day. I am telling you, this trying to get it right by reading books and looking at how others do it is tooooo much. I'm going to simply do what "feels" right. One thing that I am desperately trying to bring forth in my girls or maybe better words are I'm trying to 'undo' this idea that we should make good choices so we don't  "suffer the consequences." Again, I'm feeling it really necessary to help them understand that the reason we choose to do the right thing should have NOTHING to do with "What is my punishment if I don't do the right thing? What will happen if I get caught? Which punishment does this infraction leave me with? A scolding, toys taken away, a spanking..." Instead, I'm finding it so very necessary to say over and over "You choose to do the right thing because God loves you. He created you.  He put us here at this very time,  His ideas are here to protect us, we will do what He asks, because WE LOVE Him, after all He first loved us." I'm finding it easy to conversate with my girls about choices when we look at it from this angle, "Well, God is your Father who LOVES you so so much that we have to figure out what He would have you choose to do, what does your Spirit tell you would please God right now?"  I continue with "God gave you these hands, this body, your mind, and Spirit. You own yourself completely and you have to make choices, but when you do, they must be out of an overflow of love for your Heavenly Father, because the closer you are to Him, the closer you are to your creator, and that means the closer you are to being who you were made to be." 

Maybe just maybe, if I can prompt them to react out of a love for God rather than a fear of consequences, the negative stigma that accompanies God as being  harsh, mean, and just sitting on a cloud listing a bunch of rules to follow  will disappear! Of course, I know God is just and He does give consequences, but our motivation for faithful living should not be earthly consequences, it should be because we love our Creator and don't want to hurt Him.