When the down comes...

I am a woman of regret

I spend my time in the what might have beens

The should-haves the would-haves are where I rest

I hear the earth cry, "but in the now you are blessed"

Still I wake to a new day of repeated mental sorrow

I play with my  memories but never with tomorrow 

Failure is the capstone of my being

"You're more than a conquerer," the happy birds are singing 

But I do not listen-I cannot listen

Look at me-the sun is shining-but still I do not glisten.

I live for the  past

I try to get it back

But beauty is too far gone

And my heart is too far worn

Everywhere I look I wear the scars of  "you should of been better"

My insides breathe rejection and my heart now welcomes never

Never is the place where my confidence lives

Never is the home where beautiful sits

Never is tomorrow where they both exist